Several years ago I read an article about a woman who divorced her husband because they never fought. She felt like they were lacking the passion to fight and therefore she left him and found someone that she regularly argued with. At the time when I read this I was pretty floored, this woman left her husband and broke up the home of her kids because she felt like she was lacking the passion enough to fight?? To this day this article has never left me but as time and age normally do, my opinion on this has changed. I thought then and I still think she was wrong but for different reasons.
When I first read this as a young married woman having a marriage where no one fought sounded perfect and while I understood her complaining about a lack of passion to fight I didn’t really get it. To me her choice to rip apart her family because of something so benign as not fighting was ridiculous. Fast forward 9 years and I get it, but I still think she was wrong. I think she didn’t get what her problem was and probably never solved it. I would love to know if she is still married to the guy she now argues with. I don’t think she was married to the wrong guy, I don’t think it even really had anything to do with him, I think she was being disingenuous to herself and was blaming the lack of passion and fighting in her marriage on him. I think like us all she made choices and settled for what she thought she wanted and gave up things that she shouldn’t have. I would bet that if she realized what she was doing and started asking for what she needed instead of settling there would have been plenty of arguments and fighting. Maybe she was married to the wrong guy that certainly does happen, but I think what is more likely is she lost sight of who she was.
It’s so easy to let the stuff go that shouldn’t be, to let yourself not care because it just takes so much or you’re so tired of being the one that does all the fighting but you can’t be untrue to yourself it will never serve anyone and it steals who you are what you can offer.
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