So a little while ago I was perusing Facebook and I came across a blog someone else had read and posted about. Now I have some super smart friends and I always enjoy reading what they find interesting and this was no exception. A woman was blogging about the topic of purity balls, which if you don’t know is an abstinence ball for fathers and daughters where the girl is pledging to stay abstinent from sex and the father is supposed to support that and do what he can to make that happen… which judging from most fathers I know they pretty much do that anyways, my own husband included who has told my daughter she can’t even wave to a boy until she is 30…
With that said though I’m wondering that message we are sending to our children, but mostly girls… for starters the double standard of boys… yes girls can get pregnant and yes it affects their life more, but I remember being in sex talks as a teenager where it was almost portrayed that boys were always going to try something and it was up to the girl to always be the level headed one. Where is the responsibility of the boys in this! As a mother of a boy I would teach him and expect him to always respect any girl he was dating… but more importantly to have respect for himself and the choices he was making. That goes same for my daughter, it isn’t her father or mine’s responsibility to hold her chastity in check, it’s our job to teach her sexual integrity same as our son. The biggest problem I see with this is we are teaching our daughters that they have no control over their own sexuality, nor are they responsible. I want my kids to make well informed choices not only when it comes to sex but in all aspects of their lives. It might sound harsh but I want my daughter to know she is worth more than “being a virgin” when she gets married. If I can’t raise her to know she is worth more then what is between her legs, then I might as well have raised a stripper because while its opposite ends of the spectrum it’s the same message. What happens to the girl that was attacked or molested, what about the girl that maybe makes an unwise choice with a boyfriend, are they worth less now because they are lacking the “purity” that is so sought after? Of course they aren’t, a hymen doesn’t a wife make.
Our bodies are gifts to us from God, the universe- however your view and it’s the only one we get (at least in this life J) it’s our job to take care of them the best way we can emotionally and physically. I hope that my children will embrace that and make smart decisions with their bodies including who they will share them with.
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